Well Folks, we made it.
The countdown to adoption ended last night at 4:22 pm. It was awful and intense, grueling and painful. We will never be the same. Baby Judson, what Eden and Wes call him (they met him today!) has changed the way we think about this world and the small and privileged bubble that we live in.
We know now that Judd was meant to be a part of our family always. God, in all of His omnipotence and sovereignty made perfectly constructed plans. We are so thankful that we listened to His still small voice to begin this terribly painful, emotionally paralyzing, and yet unbelievably rewarding process. Baby Judd is perfectly Eden and Westy’s little brother. He is perfectly Auston, Bella, Tessa, and Ava’s littlest cousin. He is perfectly Tony and Linda, John and Barb’s newest grandchild. He is perfectly GG’s fourteenth great-grandchild. He is perfectly Mike, Erica, Pete, Alli, Doug, Davis and Ariel’s most promising NBA-bound nephew (sorry Ston). And he is perfectly (insert your child’s name)’s sweet little buddy. But most importantly, Baby Judd is perfectly God’s child and we can’t WAIT to see what He has in store for him, because we know how much He wanted this for his life.
I told my NBFF about God and the plans I know He has for Judd. She is already moving on with her 18-year-old life, with her school work (she had a final today – I’m telling you she is incredible) her weekend plans to Busch Gardens, and giving her long-distance boyfriend the silent treatment. Think about all of the ways God constructed this adoption, matched us together, provided His supernatural peace, and provided thousands of dollars. All for one little baby Judd. And now think about all the ways God constructed YOU and YOUR life, and how He matched you with your situation/job/relationship, and provided for your needs. It’s an incredibly powerful and humbling thing to think about. If God cares so much about Judd and constructed a plan to place him so perfectly into our family, doesn’t that make you wonder how much God must care about you too? It’s mind-blowing the love that He has for this world. He loves us so much.
My NBFF called last night an hour after we left the hospital: “Yup, he’s still eating, sleeping, and pooping.” She laughed at my technical and obvious report, but I didn’t want her to feel that way – it was important for her to feel the freedom to ask. No biology final or boyfriend drama is going to keep her from healing. And then today: “Yup, he survived his first road trip, and met his sister and brother” and I sent her pictures of their first interactions that made us both cry (we are getting good at that – mutual crying).
I’m not sure how much longer she will call every day, or maybe she will take it down a notch to a text message, or an email. But if it helps her heal and if it helps her move on and feel better, I will be waiting and willing to report. She loves that boy, there is NO doubt about it. And someday, I hope when she asks, I will be able to tell her: “Yup, today Judd invited Jesus into his heart and decided to follow in His ways of love, peace, and kindness.” And maybe, JUST MAYBE that would be enough to change her heart too.
And 24-hours later, Judson Antonio La-Sean already fits – he’s got loads of friends, and a loving family, and to be honest, we already forgot what life was like without him, and we will be forever thankful.
Thank you for following along on this journey. I am sure we will continue to update you as things come up. My hope is that God was glorified through it all, and that maybe through our openness and candor more people will understand the process of an open adoption and feel the confidence to support others going through it like many of you did for us, or even answer that call to adopt for their own family. There is such a need, and it’s expensive and hard, oh MAN is it hard, but the good FAR outweighs the bad and that’s coming from me – fresh off the worst day of my life and on the brink of another year of no sleep. The redeeming power of Christ’s love is incredible.
“Now to him who is able to do far abundantly more than all that we can ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21
We will be hiding out in the beautiful state of Florida while we wait for our state approvals to go through (it’s a tough job, but someone has to do it). We can’t wait for you guys to meet our beautiful boy, and will be sure to invite you over or stop by to introduce you when we get back at the end of next week.
With Much Love,
The Murray Five
Hayes, Kara, Eden, Westy, and Baby Judd